January often felt like the time to ‘start over.’ A new year, a new promise,
somehow believing that the date, January 1, had magical powers to help me
achieve most difficult goals. So I ‘resolved’ to do better at many things! Like
meditating more; better time-management; less sugar consumption; taking more
walks; staying organized; clearing and cleaning…you name it, I ‘promised myself’ I
was going to instill new habits, and I did….for about three weeks until life took
over and my heartfelt resolutions fell to the wayside. All in all that didn’t seem
too harmful, but the inevitable voices in my head were cruel and punishing! The
way I berated myself as a failure with no ‘sticktoitiveness’ or discipline became
very harmful. After decades of this ‘tradition,’ I finally stopped.
With help from mentors, I learned a better way to move forward with hopeful
goals by just trying something realistic for a day, an hour, once a month. Like
adding a ten-minute meditation after my yoga practice for just one day a week.
Maybe clearing a few empty boxes from my basement one hour here and there.
Eating a spoon of honey when I really wanted a cookie, just today. And on days I
didn’t do what I hoped for, to lovingly allow my humanness without harsh
Switching to a small daily effort without pressure and inner condemnation, I have
actually implemented new habits and achieved goals I never got close to in the
past, slowly, slowly. And best of all, I am a loving friend to myself instead of my
worst enemy. I’ll take that!